Gift-giving holds center stage at this time of year for most of us

We feel pressure to find the perfect present and simultaneously wrestle with limited time and our need to stay within budget. Unsurprisingly, this increases our stress levels. Remember that when you live out the practices of Adoption Attunement you deliver tremendous value to your children because Adoption Attuned Parenting is a gift. In fact, we believe that it is one of the best gifts adoptive parents can provide our children.

Still, we yearn to make the holidays magical and memorable

Our kids also get caught up in the whirlwind of wanting and high expectations. Along with excitement, anticipation, heartwarming joy, and manic busyness, adoption adds an extra twist. The season can trigger complex and ambiguous thoughts and feelings in our children. These may include grief, loss, anxiety, rejection, shame, resentment, inadequacy, self-doubt, and thoughts of separated birth family.

This adoption-connected turmoil adds to the entire family’s stress levels

Intense emotion, high stress, and unsettling thoughts create a volatile mix that touches the entire family system. Everyone feels the heat. Since behavior is the language through which our children reveal what they are thinking and feeling, some challenging interactions are inevitable.  Because parents are also feeling overwhelmed—or nearly so, we may struggle to muster the energy, insight, and focus so we can support our kids.

We can help ourselves and help them

Set a budget and stay within it. Create clear expectations with our children. Scrutinize our thoughts and reasons for buying something. Resist buying overly lavish presents. What they need most from us is to be well-informed parents who can objectively see the unique consequences of adoption. For them. And, for us. This awareness can help mitigate relationship stresses.

Consider expanding your knowledge and understanding of adoption complexity

Deepen your understanding of the Seven Core Issues of Adoption and how you can better support your children in coping with them. Knowing about these Core Issues helps you determine why certain things might trigger them. Expand your awareness of adoption complexity and how it influences your children’s behavior as well as your parenting. Learning the “whys’ behind their behavior increases your insight and can shape your responses.

 How can you accomplish all of these worthy goals?

Adoption is a life-long journey. So, our adoption learning is also not a once-and-done task. This may sound daunting but it does not have to be. Taking courses on adoption is the easiest way is to continue to learn about adoptive parenting.

Our excellent courses can help

They expand your knowledge and adoptive parenting skills sets. They are easy to complete—at your own pace. Make the time to take one—or all—of our online courses. Some are short and take less than an hour. Other courses are divided into modules. As you understand adoption better, you can parent better and that is a definite win for the entire family.

Listen to our podcast.

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Read these books written by our coaches.