Changing Intentions, Changing Behavior: An Uphill Climb

Last week we challenged you to set time aside to have deeply connected and vulnerable conversations with the people you love. We titled it “Before It Is Too Late.” Our intent was to encourage some positive change regarding the mood of negativity, anger and, violence in America. We believe we must focus on connection as a prime priority. ]Relationship cannot be conditional on first resolving all conflicts. Creating genuine feelings of belonging and connectedness are the solution to anger and isolation, not the after-effect.

A loving relationship is the soil from which our family bonds grow. We plant the seeds of trust, caring, forgiveness and, acceptance. The growth process takes time and attentive nurturing. To succeed at becoming a family, we must remember to spend more time on forging connection than on imposing rules and consequences. Change of this magnitude requires a combination of intention, commitment and, execution. It is definitely an uphill climb that demands persistence, powering through failure, forgiveness, encouragement and, acknowledgment of every tiny increment of success.

Back to last week’s challenge.

Did you actually make time to have the conversation in which you told them you love them?
How many times did you do?
if not, what distractions, habits and behavioral patterns got in your way?

Pause for a moment to listen to your inner dialogue as you considered the previous questions.

- - How “accountable” were you?
  - What rationale (excuses?) did you invoke to justify not taking the time for the challenge?

Step back. Now ask yourself, if a spouse, friend, coworker or, child used similar reasons for not following through on a Big Intention would you call “baloney” on them? Would you think it but not share the thought?

Imagine yourself as the “listener”

Hear your reasons for not acting on your intention. Do the words ring true? Great. How can you overcome the obstacles you identified so you can create a different outcome this week? What are you willing to do to make sure you make the time to connect? What reminders might serve your goal?

Addressing “insufficient” reasons

How will you move beyond these distractions, obstacles or, excuses?
What will you have to think, do and say differently?

Intimacy requires vulnerability

This means it leaves us open to being hurt. Risk it. Start the conversation. Lead by example and speak from your heart. Reciprocity may not come but the words will have been heard. Even if the message didn’t take root immediately, repeat the process until it does. When family members do respond, listen, totally, with heart and mind. That is a daring act of love which transforms, hearts, lives and, worlds. This is how we attune and it is through this attunement that we interact in ways that benefit the entire family.

The time for these conversations is now. #LoveRadically