Lesson 3 Quiz

How can expectations, beliefs, and presuppositions get in the way of approaching adoption with a more nuanced understanding?

a. Consider that many people view adoption from a save-the-child mindset which casts parents as rescuers and heroes. This can cause parents to be unaware that their child's experiences and feelings won't necessarily match their own.

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b. Unexamined beliefs and presuppositions about the adoption experience often arise from overly optimistic cultural paradigms that tend to deny or minimize the complexities of adoption.

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c. Your client will need to understand that both the child's previous life experiences AND their DNA will affect the amount of influence they may have as parents.

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d. All of the above

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How does a child’s DNA affect the adoptive parent’s ability to shape the child?

a. DNA does not operate as a determinative influence on the child's aptitudes and preferences.

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b. DNA provides a basic blueprint. Parents can and will have some influence on how those genes are expressed.

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c. None of the above

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d. All of the above

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In what ways are both adoptive and biological parents a permanent, influential, and valuable part of the adoptee?

a. The nurturing that adoptive parents provide creates a permanent imprint on their children.

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b. The birth parents contribute their DNA which remains a permanent part of the adoptee.

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c. Adoptive parents are the “forever” parents and the adoptive family is the child’s “forever family.”

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d. Both a and b

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What impact does truth-telling have on the parent-child relationship?

a. To protect the adoptee, it is appropriate to permanently withhold the truth about some difficult information.

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b. Truth telling is integral to parents and children sustaining a loving, trusting, lifelong relationship.

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c. Withholding the truth will have an impact on the long-term success of the parent-child relationship as well as the child's mental health.

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d. Both b and c

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How might a Conversation Seed benefit the parent and the child?

a. Conversation seeds can facilitate openness and dialog between parent and child.

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b. Conversation seeds lay the groundwork for future conversations.

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c. Conversation seeds telegraph the notion that the topic is a safe and welcome one to share with their adoptive parents.

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d. All of the above

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6. How is relinquishment trauma distinct from adoption trauma?

a. Trauma results from relinquishment not adoption.

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b. Relinquishment and separation from the birth mother/birth family is a trauma characterized by fracture and attachment disruption.

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c. Adoption trauma is characterized by the realignment and reconfiguration of the adoptee's identity within their new family.

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d. Both b and c

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What are some signs of grief in infants and toddlers after they have been separated from their birth families?

a. Infants and toddlers adjust quickly and do not grieve their separation from their birth families.

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b. Resistance to comforting, aversion to touch, being overly "good" and undemanding, and disassociation can be signs of unrecognized grief.

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c. Excessive sleeping, prolonged crying, irritability can be signs of unrecognized grief.

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d. Gaze aversion, poor appetite, rigidity, muscle tension, disengaged, staring into space can be signs of unrecognized grief.

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e. Answers b, c, and d

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What are some factors that adoptive families with siblings must handle?

a. When adoptive siblings are also biological siblings, and/or siblings who were previously raised together, they will join the adoptive family with pre-existing relationship patterns which they may be reluctant to change.

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b. Each sibling’s readiness to accept their new adoptive parents will likely vary.

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c. The desired degree of ongoing contact with the birth family will likely vary for each child.

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d. In some families, attention and support may be focused on a particularly needy child. It’s important for adoptive parents to also remember to stay attuned to all of their children.

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e. All of the above

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What are some of the additional responsibilities of parents who adopt transracially?

a. Build relationships with people of the child's race

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b. Acknowledge that a parent’s presence/absence influences situations

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c. Incorporate the child’s race, culture and ethnicity into family life

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d. Learn how to care for the child’s body and spirit

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e. All of the above

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What should adoptive parents keep in mind in their approach to discipline?

a. Parents can follow the model they experienced as children.

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b They should use respect-based rather than fear-based discipline methods.

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c. Adoptive parents need to avoid activating their child's fear of rejection and abandonment.

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d. Parents can follow the suggestions of any reputable parenting book.

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e. Both b and c

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Why may an adopted child simultaneously feel excitement, sadness, and grief during holiday celebrations?

a. The child may feel the absence of their birth mother and/or birth family. The child may wonder if they are ever thought about or missed.

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b. They may wonder what it might be like if they were celebrating with their birth family.

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c. Children may remember difficult, sad, or frightening circumstances they experienced during holidays in their pre-adopted life.

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d. All of the above

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Why might an adopted child feel unsettled about celebrating their birthday?

a. Children always enjoy a birthday party!

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b. Their birthday naturally reminds them of the separation from their birth mother.

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c. They may feel delighted with the festivities, yet at the same time they may also feel over-whelmed, sad, and/or angry.

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d. Both b and c

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What might make celebrations of a child’s Arrival Day complicated for an adopted child?

a. The child might feel sadness and happiness—sadness because they lost their first family and happiness because they joined their adoptive family.

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b. Some adoptees enjoy marking the anniversary of joining their adoptive family. Some find it too tinged with sadness and grief.

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c. Some children want to celebrate yet may also want their adoptive parents to acknowledge and validate their coexisting grief and losses.

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d. All of the above

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What are the benefits of sharing Difficult Conversations?

a. Sharing Difficult Conversations is an opportunity to support the child and to strengthen the parent-child bond.

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b. Sharing Difficult Conversations prevents children from learning about tough information from unreliable sources who hold little or no empathy or compassion.

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c. When parents hold Difficult Conversations, trust is preserved and information is conveyed accurately, in context, and with empathy and affection.

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d. All of the above

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How might loyalty be an issue in an adoptive family?

a. It is natural for parents to expect 100% loyalty over the birth family. Children need to appreciate all that their adoptive family provide them.

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b. Placing loyalty demands on the adoptee locks the child in a bind because he knows that during his childhood, he depends on his adoptive parents for survival, for a home and all that it includes—food, shelter, medical care, education, safety, and affection.

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c. Neither a or b

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d. Both a and b

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What is the difference between privacy and secrecy?

a. There is no difference.

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b. Keeping something secret typically implies that there is something to be ashamed of; keeping something private means that only a few people need to know the information.

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c. A secret is something kept hidden that, if discovered, could be damaging or scandalous.

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d. Private information is simply personal to the holder of the information.

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e. Answers b, c, and d

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In the context of adoptive families, what is Toxic Language?

a. Language is complicated but not toxic; sometimes parents say harsh things but children understand that their parents don't really mean it.

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b. Toxic language is verbal poison that cuts to the core and crushes self-esteem.

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c. Once spoken and heard, Toxic Language can be forgiven, however, it cannot be taken back, “unheard” or forgotten.

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d. Both b and c

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What are some of the ethical obligations required of adoptive parents?

a. Share information or items to which the child is entitled—especially keepsakes from birth parents and birth families

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b. Support their open adoption in spirit and practice

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c. Recognize the shifting power imbalance between birth mothers and adoptive parents and do not take advantage of it

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d. Attend to their own issues and challenges

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e. All of the above

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How might increasing a child’s sense of “felt” safety help lessen feelings of mistrust and rejection?

a. Feeling safe has little connection to mistrust and rejection.

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b. Lack of “felt” safety may increase the child’s need for control.

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c. Lack of “felt” safety may cause the child to rely on self-defense mechanisms to create distance from others to protect themselves from hurt or fend off another rejection.

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d. Both b and c

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How does finding community benefit adopted children and their parents?

a. When adoptive parents and their children engage in an adoption community, they see their own experiences and struggles reflected in other families and feel less alone.

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b. They experience empathy, understanding, find belonging and the validation of being seen and heard.

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c. Community provides a model for alternative solutions to common problems.

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d. Adoptive families do not need specialized support groups.

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e. Answers a, b, and c

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How does society’s questioning of the realness of adoptive families affect adoptees and their families?

a. The prevalent second guessing may undermine an adoptive parent's confidence and make them feel inferior to biological parents.

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b. Focusing on realness promotes negative adoption myths which weighs heavily on adoptive families.

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c. When people try to distinguish between birth and adoptive relationships, their focus on realness can feel judgmental to adoptive families.

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d. Real becomes equated with legitimate.

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e. All of the above

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Why is it vital for adoptive parents to develop a Continuity of Care Plan?

a. Adopted children are sensitive to feelings of abandonment so a Continuity of Care Plan can help make a tragic situation less distressful for them.

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b. When an adoptive family neglects to prepare for life's unexpected events, it can intensify chaos and stress for their adopted children.

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c. A Continuity of Care Plan is nice to have but not essential.

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d. Both a and b

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Why is it important for parents to recognize and address the seven core issues in adoption?

a. Parents can bring the issues into family conversations rather than leaving individuals to struggle with them alone.

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b. Families can enjoy the comfort of mutual support and empathy.

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c. These issues are over-emphasized and it is better not to make a big deal of them.

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d. Both a and b

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