Is Adopting a Child Right for Me?

A SIX-MODULE, SELF-DIRECTED COURSE CREATED FOR YOU

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Perhaps you have been trying for a while now and you are tired of being disappointed every month that the pregnancy test does not show that all-important extra line that indicates a positive.

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Perhaps you have been undergoing fertility treatments. You, your body, and your pocketbook are worn out and running on empty.

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Maybe you have heard about the children who need homes and you wonder if you should or want to step up to help by adopting a child.

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It could be that all your friends are building their families. You feel your biological clock ticking and you can’t face another baby shower.

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Maybe your parents are pressuring you every time you get together. “When will you make us grandparents?”

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Perhaps you have a partner who really wants a child and you are not so sure. It may be that you or your partner already have children. Will parenting an adopted child bring you closer together or will it cause issues?

These thoughts can occupy your mind while you are still trying to juggle all the other parts of your life.

The answers are not easy to determine. There is more to adopting than meets the eye.

That’s why we created this course.

Click the photo to meet each coach

We wrestled with many of these situations ourselves.

From infertility, to years of trying to get pregnant, to getting older, to family and partners wanting a child in their midst – we needed to answer the question: Is Adopting a Child Right for Me?

As we began to think about adopting a child, we realized that the decision-making process was far more layered than we expected. We didn’t know what we didn’t know. There were a lot of moving parts to consider and coordinate in order to make a solid decision.

We wondered where to turn. Who could help us with this important decision? We needed someone who would not persuade us one way or the other, someone in whom we could confide and share our hesitations and vulnerabilities—someone who was experienced, knowledgeable, understanding, and compassionate.

A skilled, competent person can be hard to locate.

We remember the moment we said to ourselves

 ”Maybe I should think about adopting a child.” Some of us coaches had people say to us, “Just adopt,” which was an exciting thought. But, as we began to think about it, we realized that there was no “just” and that deciding to adopt a child was more complicated than that.

 

Perhaps you did what we did and began to look for information about adopting a child. Do a Google search, and you get a million hits. The amount of information is overwhelming and can make the decision harder. It is hard to ferret out solid information from misinformation.

You might be asking: Is it really as easy to adopt a child as some of the websites say? What does it really take to be an adoptive parent and am I cut out for it?

Once the idea is in your mind, you may want to bring it up to the person who would be your parenting partner, but you are afraid. Maybe you and your partner are together in considering adopting, but you fear what your extended family might say or how they might react. You may wonder: How much does the attitude and opinions of others matter as I consider adopting a child?

Some of you may have heard that adopted children have significant problems. You may be asking yourself: Is that true and will I have the happy family I dream about?

And then there are practical questions:

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How much does it cost?

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Is going to an agency better than going to an attorney?

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What if I have some speeding tickets or a criminal record?

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Is there an age range for adoptive parents?

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Do my partner and I have to be together for a certain amount of time?

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Which type of adoptions are out and what adoption would be right for me?

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How long does it take?

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Do I need to own my own home or can I live in an apartment?

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I have a physical or mental health issue. Will these exclude me?

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If we adopt transracially, do I need to move to a diverse area?

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If I get into the adoption process, can I change my mind?

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I hear that most adoptions are open. Do I need to have a relationship with a child’s birth mother or family?

The questions can feel overwhelming. As you consider adopting a child, you can be 100% honest with us. No question is a bad question. Since we do not match children and families, your questions or hesitations will not impact your chance of adopting a child, should you decide to do so.

What we can do is give you the space, the time, and the people with lived expertise to work through your questions and concerns so that you can feel confident in your decision, whichever way you decide.

Imagine how good it would feel to know that you have made the right decision. Whether you decide to adopt or not to adopt, you will have the peace of mind of knowing that you gave the decision the full weight it deserves.

Our comprehensive course, Is Adopting a Child Right for Me? walks you through the process of deciding. We have done the research and know that adopting a child is not right for everyone. We have asked the questions. We have learned things we didn’t know to ask. This course compiles all of our knowledge and expertise to make your path easier.

HERE’S WHAT WE’LL COVER IN THE SIX MODULES

MODULE 1

What Would I Be Getting Myself Into?

Do you remember the first time you were about to make a big decision? Perhaps it was a move, a choice of college, a job, or a relationship. We naturally will imagine what our life will look like if we say “yes” to the change. The bigger the decision, the more information we may want to gather. Adopting a child is a major life change. And it’s not for everyone.

In this module, we explore what adopting a child is all about, including a brief overview and history of adoption, the definition of adoption, and what adopting a child looks like for people.

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Learn the types of adoptions

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Discover current adoption trends and how they might inform your decision

MODULE 2

What Would Be Required of Me?

You probably have heard something called the “home study” and wonder what kind of hoops you have to jump through. There are many legal requirements in addition to the home study that need to be met before a child would be placed in your home. But, equally important to consider are the unspoken requirements that you won’t find on a list.

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Become acquainted with the elements of a home study

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Discover essential intangible qualities every prospective adoptive parent would need

MODULE 3

How Would It Change My Life?

Recall a time in your life when you were weighing out making a life change. Perhaps it was a job offer, a move to another state, or even a major medical procedure. Most likely, you began to imagine what your life would be like if you were to take the leap.

It may be hard to imagine how adopting a child would change your life because there tends to be less public information available about such personal transformation. In this course, we offer a picture of how adoption may affect your life so you can begin to imagine the profound changes adoption will create in your life.

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How would adoption change your relationship with family, friends and community

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 What impact would adopting have on my time and energy?

MODULE 4

Would I Have What It Takes?

We tend to think of parenting as something that comes naturally to us. We might even follow the blueprint our parents used-or not! Because of the unique needs of the adoptive family, intuition is not sufficient. Effective adoptive parenting requires parents to learn adoption-sensitive parenting practices techniques. The truth is that this is not an easy task. Certain qualities and skills are needed. In this module, we will:

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Identify core qualities of adoptive parents

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Discuss the added skills and education that may be required of adoptive parents

MODULE 5

What Does It Cost?

You probably are wondering if you have enough money to adopt a child. Budgetary concerns do factor into this important decision. Most often, there are initial costs associated with the process of adopting a child which vary depending on certain factors. Also important to consider are the costs after the adoption takes place. In this module, we will

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Discuss potential, hidden, and unanticipated costs

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Review potential on-going costs

MODULE 6

How Would I Begin?

You may wonder, Why do I even have to know how to begin if I have not decided? Greater knowledge allows you to make a more informed decision. Facts matter. Most importantly, this decision is not only a decision of the heart, but also a decision of the mind. In this module, we review the first steps of the adoption process.

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How to find adoption agencies and professionals

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Review ethical practices

2 Convenient Package Options:

OPTION 1

“Is Adopting a Child Is Right for Me?”

A Six-Module Course with

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Dig Deeper Questions

This tool gives you helpful prompts as you begin to think about adopting a child. Discover the questions to ask yourself, especially those questions you don’t know you need to know.

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Reference Page included with each module

Allows you to further explore the specific points covered in each module.

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PLUS

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Resources e-Book carefully curated for the discerner

Save time and energy: we do the work for you. We have carefully compiled valuable resources that you will not find on the first page of a Google search. These resources give you a more complete perspective of the choices before you – without a bias towards one decision or the other.

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Decision Readiness Assessment

Are you ready to make a decision? How would you know? Our Adoption Readiness Assessment will help determine if you are ready to decide. For best results, we recommend taking the assessment before and after completing the course.

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Adoption Myths: How They Can Color Your Decision-making Process

Discover common adoption myths so you do not base this life-changing decision on false information. You may be surprised how some commonly-held beliefs are inaccurate and untrue.

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A Tool for Deciding: SMART Goals

SMART goals can help you organize your thoughts and move you towards action. Our customized “Is Adopting Right for Me?” SMART goal worksheets will set you on the course toward your decision.

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Certificate of Completion

If you decide to move forward with adoption, “Is Adopting a Child Right for Me?” can be helpful for social workers, agencies, and attorneys to see the careful thought you have already given. Our Certificate of Completion includes a notation of the basic concepts we covered in this course which serves as proof of your knowledge and understanding of adopting.

OPTION 2

“Is Adopting a Child Is Right for Me?”

A Six-Module Course AND A Personal Coaching Session

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Dig Deeper Questions

This tool gives you helpful prompts as you begin to think about adopting a child. Discover the questions to ask yourself, especially those questions you don’t know you need to know.

I

Reference Page included with each module

Allows you to further explore the specific points covered in each module.

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PLUS

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Resources e-Book carefully curated for the discerner

Save time and energy: we do the work for you. We have carefully compiled valuable resources that you will not find on the first page of a Google search. These resources give you a more complete perspective of the choices before you – without a bias towards one decision or the other.

I

Decision Readiness Assessment

Are you ready to make a decision? How would you know? Our Adoption Readiness Assessment will help determine if you are ready to decide. For best results, we recommend taking the assessment before and after completing the course.

I

Adoption Myths: How They Can Color Your Decision-making Process

Discover common adoption myths so you do not base this life-changing decision on false information. You may be surprised how some commonly-held beliefs are inaccurate and untrue.

I

A Tool for Deciding: SMART Goals

SMART goals can help you organize your thoughts and move you towards action. Our customized “Is Adopting Right for Me?” SMART goal worksheets will set you on the course toward your decision.

I

Certificate of Completion

If you decide to move forward with adoption, “Is Adopting a Child Right for Me?” can be helpful for social workers, agencies, and attorneys to see the careful thought you have already given. Our Certificate of Completion includes a notation of the basic concepts we covered in this course which serves as proof of your knowledge and understanding of adopting.

Is Adopting a Child Right for ME?

Includes practical prompts and exercises, tools and strategies you use to arrive at a decision that is right for you.

 

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