What Is It Like to Adopt a Child?

A SEVEN-MODULE, SELF-DIRECTED COURSE CREATED FOR YOU

Perhaps you have heard stories from friends about their experience adopting a child which made you realize that you need to learn more.

Perhaps you have been doing Google searches during your breaks or late at night and find that the information is endless. You wonder what information is accurate and best for you.

Maybe you don’t have time to do the research necessary to get a complete picture of adoption, to know what type of adoption would be best for you, and who should be on your team for the best outcome.

You want to know more about what open adoption means and how it works.

You wonder if there are important things about adopting a child that you need to know but that others may not tell you.

You can be both excited and nervous. Plus, these thoughts weigh on your mind while you are still handling all the other parts of your life.

Learning about what it is like to adopt a child can take a lot of time. That’s why we created this course. We save you time, calm your nerves, and give you the information you need to know about adoption.

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Our adoption coaching company gives you the view from three angles: the adoptee’s, the birth parent’s, and the adoptive parent’s. We believe that a fuller perspective yields even better results, increased happiness, and healthier adoptive families.

We adoption coaches are all a part of an adoptive family. We learned what adopting a child was like by doing it and living it. We want to give you all the information you need so you do not have to learn by trial and error — saving you time, energy, and avoiding difficulties.

Many of us coaches are adoptive parents ourselves. As we began to think about adopting a child, we realized that the adoption process was far more layered than we expected. We didn’t know what we didn’t know. There were a lot of moving parts to consider and coordinate.

We wondered where to turn. We needed someone who could give us a complete picture of what adopting a child is like, someone in whom we could confide and share our hesitations and vulnerabilities—someone who was experienced, knowledgeable, understanding, and compassionate.

A skilled, competent person can be hard to locate.

You might be asking: Is it really as easy to adopt a child as some of the websites say? What does it really take to be an adoptive parent and am I cut out for it?

Once the idea is in your mind, you may want to bring it up to the person who would be your parenting partner, but you are afraid. Maybe you and your partner are together in considering adopting, but you fear what your extended family might say or how they might react. You may wonder: How much does the attitude and opinions of others matter as I consider adopting a child?

Some of you may have heard that adopted children have significant problems. You may be asking yourself: Is that true and will I have the happy family I dream about?

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And then there are practical questions:

How much does it cost?

Is going to an agency better than going to an attorney?

What if I have some speeding tickets or a criminal record?

Are there factors that might be barriers to adopting a child or that might make the adoption process more difficult (age, marital/partner status, LGBTQIA+)?

Do my partner and I have to be together for a certain amount of time?

Which type of adoptions are out there and what adoption would be right for me?

How long does it take?

Do I need to own my own home or can I live in an apartment?

I have a physical or mental health issue. Will this make the process more difficult?

If we adopt transracially, do I need to move to a diverse area?

I hear that most adoptions are open. Do I need to have a relationship with a child’s birth mother or family?

The questions can feel overwhelming. As you learn what it’s like to adopt a child, you can be 100% honest with us. No question is a bad question. Since we do not match children and families, your questions or hesitations will not impact your chance of adopting a child, should you decide to do so.

What we can do is give you the space, the time, and the people with lived expertise to offer you a picture of what adopting a child is like to make your job of discovery much easier.

Imagine how good it would feel to know that you have as much information as possible as you consider adopting a child or make your first step on the adoption journey.

Our comprehensive course, What Is It Like to Adopt a Child? Gives you a comprehensive picture of what adopting a child entails. We have asked the questions. We have learned things we didn’t know to ask. We have done the research. We have lived the experience. We are ready to make your load lighter by sharing our knowledge and expertise to make your path easier.

HERE’S WHAT WE’LL COVER IN THE SEVEN MODULES

MODULE 1

Getting Started

Do you remember the first time you were about to make a big decision?

Perhaps it was a move, a choice of college, a job, or a relationship. We naturally will imagine what our life will look like if we say “yes” to the change.

The bigger the decision, the more information we may want to gather and the more daunting getting started can seem. Adopting a child is a major life change that has a unique process you need to follow. In this module, we introduce what adopting a child is all about, including, the definition of adoption, important concepts unique to adoption, types of adoption, and what adopting a child looks like for people.

Learn the types of adoptions

Discover current adoption trends and how they might impact your path to adopting a child

MODULE 2

Choosing Your Path and Your Team

When you searched the web for ways to adopt, you probably have noticed all the different paths and professionals that come up on your screen. It can be difficult to know what type of adoption fits best for you: infant, foster to adopt, foster care, sibling, domestic, international, special needs. Even more, how do you know whether it’s best for you to work with an agency or through an attorney? How can you ensure that your path is ethical?

Become familiar with the various types of adoptions

Discover the variety of professionals who can help you adopt

Become acquainted with the elements of a home study

MODULE 3

The Home Study and Other Important Preparations

You probably have heard something called the “home study” and have wondered what would be required of you. There are many legal requirements in addition to the home study that need to be met before a child would be placed in your home. But, equally important to consider are the unspoken requirements that you won’t find on a list.

Become acquainted with the elements of the homestudy and how you can prepare

Discover the essential qualities you would need to make the home study process as smooth and successful as possible

MODULE 4

Parenting Your Adopted Child, The Basics

We tend to think of parenting as something that comes naturally to us. We might expect to follow the blueprint our parents used—or not! Because of the unique needs of the adoptive family, we need more than intuition. Effective adoptive parenting requires parents to learn adoption-sensitive parenting practices techniques. The truth is that this is not an easy task. We need certain qualities, specific skills, and appropriate language. In this module, we will:

Identify core qualities of adoptive parents and additional skills or education that may be necessary for effective parenting

Discuss common concerns such as when to tell the child they are adopted and how to answer your child’s questions

MODULE 5

Understanding Your Adopted Child

Understanding and making connections with any child, whether through birth or adoption, is one of the most rewarding and difficult tasks of any parent. Adoption brings an added layer to building a healthy relationship with your child, including adopting a child through foster care or transracially. We give you the knowledge and tools that would provide a solid ground to build your relationship with your child. In this module, we will:

Discuss the Seven Core Issues of adopted children

View adoption from the child’s perspective and learn ways to relate to your child from their worldview

MODULE 6

Adoption Complexities

When you look at all the information out there about adding a child to your family through adoption, you may be asking yourself, “This all looks great, so what are they not telling me?” This is one of the most important questions to answer for you to get a complete picture of what it’s like to adopt a child. There are certain complexities to adoption that all prospective parents need to know. In this module, we cover common, yet often unspoken, complexities:

Complexities for the child that are borne out of difficulty, separation, and loss

Complexities for adoptive parents including factors such as dealing with unmet expectations and when relating to their child, family and friends

MODULE 7

You As An Adoptive Parent

When you adopt a child, you become a member of a unique community, that of adoptive parents. Your life and your parenting carries unique experiences that other families formed through birth do not experience. From managing your own expectations to sharing adoption information with other others, this module covers topics that you will not hear discussed elsewhere:

Educating, sharing, and relating to family and friends

Learning about common regrets expressed by adoptive parents and how to do things differently

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