Monitoring Your Family Heart Beat

I’m in the midst of a 30-day session wearing a heart monitor. It is minimally uncomfortable yet singularly dedicated to its purpose. Always operating. Never off duty. Never distracted. It periodically zings an alert or vibrates to catch my attention. Imagine that our families have a collective pulse. Like the human heart, a family is […]

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Are You Building an Enduring Connection with Your Children

While waiting to become a parent, I spent some time ruminating on the way my own parents raised me. After I became a parent the challenges of parenting became real. I developed some empathy for them and an appreciation of their motives and intentions. I realized how complicated parenting is and that enabled me to […]

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I Wasn’t Expecting That

Feeling short of time or finding it difficult to concentrate? You can listen to this post. Listening time: 7:49 If you are an adopted parent, you have probably experienced many encounters with the unexpected. For most of us, the first “surprise” was infertility. We expected we would become pregnant fairly easily. But that is not […]

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Being Cassandra: Sharing an Unwelcome Truth

Feeling short of time or finding it difficult to concentrate? You can listen to this post. Listening time: 3:28 Being Cassandra: Sharing an Unwelcome Truth August 20, 2021 I have been an adoptive parent for 35 years. I have learned a great deal in these intervening years. One of my biggest shifts has been embracing […]

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Beginnings and Endings as Adoptive Families

Feeling short of time or finding it difficult to concentrate? You can listen to this post. Listening time: 6:44 In the beginning, we dream of pregnancy and then discover it is unachievable. That dream ends. Still, we continue to dream and choose to focus on our core desire: parenthood. This leads us to consider adoption. […]

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Celebrate with Adoption Attunement in Mind

Feeling short of time or finding it difficult to concentrate? You can listen to this post. Listen time 5:23 This month we celebrate the “birthday” and independence of the United States. Many folks observe the Fourth of July as an extended family. Holidays become enmeshed with warm memories of the important people in our family, […]

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The Blessings of Fatherhood

Feeling short of time or finding it difficult to concentrate? You can listen to this post. Listen time 6:04 Father’s Day dominates our thoughts this month. Big Holidays like this are freighted with extra emotional baggage in the world of adoption. The importance of fathers tends to be underappreciated and be overshadowed by the intense […]

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On Mothering...

Feeling short of time or finding it difficult to concentrate? You can listen to this post. Listen time 6:04 The month of May, rich with burgeoning life after winter’s severity, brings motherhood to mind . The observance of an official holiday further nudges our awareness!  So, a question comes to mind: What does it mean […]

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Finding Joy: Life as a Learning Conversation

Feeling short of time or finding it difficult to concentrate? You can listen to this post. Listen time 5:32 Babies are the most determined learners. Their survival depends on their ability to learn. Even in the face of persistent failure, they pick themselves up and try again and again until they achieve mastery. Whether it […]

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Rainbows, Relationships and Unknown Relatives

Feeling short of time or finding it difficult to concentrate? You can listen to this post. Listening time: 5:31   After a long winter of confinement and challenging weather, most folks are glad to add a bit of festivity to their lives. I suspect this explains why so many people who aren’t actually Irish enjoy […]

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Yearning to Belong: the Quest to Feel at Home

Feeling short of time or finding it difficult to concentrate? You can listen to this post. Listening time: 5:49 Winter has arrived. Even here in South Florida temperatures have plummeted! Our instinct to hunker down drives us to turn to home for shelter, warmth, and safety. Home and family provide a reassuring sense of belonging. […]

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Voices Matter in Adoption: Loving enough to Listen and Learn

Feeling short of time or finding it difficult to concentrate? You can listen to this post. Listening time:  10:17   Lessons from 2020 The past year taught us we must learn to discuss hard things, listen to multiple voices with respect, and complete attention. We must strive to understand all sides of the conversation. Adoption […]

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GIFT Giving 2020: What Do Adoption Attuned Parents Choose?

Feeling short of time or finding it difficult to concentrate? You can listen to this post. Listening time:  6:21 November features National Adoption Awareness Month (#NAAM). One thing 2020 has taught us: truly valuable things in life have no price tag. The things that genuinely matter are priceless: family, friends, health, companionship, security. As we […]

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Gratitude, Adoption, Connection, and Community!

Feeling short of time or finding it difficult to concentrate? You can listen to this post. Listening time:  4:07 November features National Adoption Awareness Month (#NAAM). This has gained enthusiastic support from adoptive parents who wish to declare the benefits of adoption. Adoption provided them children to love and parent and they eagerly share their […]

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The Indispensability of Community

Feeling short of time or finding it difficult to concentrate? You can listen to this post. Listen time 7:39 At the risk of sounding like Captain Obvious: our lives have been totally blown off their normal courses. Covid-19 realigned our lives, redefined our social interactions, upended our educational systems, shuttered businesses, destroyed jobs, sickened millions, […]

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 Parents, We Need to Handle Our Own Tough Stuff

Feeling short of time or finding it difficult to concentrate? You can listen to this post. Listen time 7:11 Families follow a core set of values that governs their priorities, shapes their belief system, and guides their behaviors. (We’ve blogged about the process of being intentional in defining these core values.) GIFT Family Services also has […]

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Adoption Legalities and Ethics Have Life-long Repercussions

Feeling short of time or finding it difficult to concentrate? You can listen to this post. Listen time 8:00  Recently I've been providing full-time day-care for my four-year-old grandson and will be homeschooling him when school restarts. The words of my grandmother have been on my mind: Parenting is the hardest job you will ever […]

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Intent Versus Impact: Why It Matters

Feeling short of time or finding it difficult to concentrate? You can listen to this post. Listen time 10:24 Intent Versus Impact: Why It Matters It is easy--and naive--to expect that our good intent guarantees a positive result. Even the purest intentions can still yield negative consequences. Negative results--even if unintended--are no less consequential. Most […]

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Speak Truth Aloud.

Feeling short of time or finding it difficult to concentrate? You can listen to this post. This blog explores how Adoption Attunement (AQ) and intentionality provide a clear approach to follow, one that helps adoptive families to flourish. It is firmly rooted in a belief that adoption is complex and therefore recognizes the hard truths […]

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Look, Look! What Do you See?

Feeling short of time or finding it difficult to concentrate? You can listen to this post. As adults, we "know" the world through direct physical experience. It is easy to assume that we all "see" the same thing. Yet nothing could be further from the truth. How we stand in the world governs what we […]

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